I have this conversation with church-going single folk pretty regularly. It goes something like this:

“I know I am not worth less than married people, but it feels like I am worth less than married people.”

What are practical ways the church can better serve single individuals?

Religious trauma certainly makes leaving an unhealthy environment difficult, and it absolutely makes assessing new environments for health difficult, too. Enter: Robert Jay Lifton’s Eight Criteria for Thought Reform from his 1961 book on high-control cult environments. Despite being an old book, these eight criteria remain a robust framework for understanding how cults and other high-control environments maintain control of their group members, effectively brainwashing them to protect the system in power. Examining each criterion gives us an opportunity to imagine and consider what a healthy church environment might look like.